Email from my "mom":
Hello8
What have you been up to ?
Tell you a good news. At last few days,My friend Jack told me where was called the factory of world.All the things is very cheap.
Register to be their members as soon as possible, during this time, they have discount sales, many surprises are waiting for you.
It continues, but I think you get the idea. My actual mom sends me an email after that with the title "I've been hacked. My email has been compromised." Like it's top level security that has been compromised. I get a lot of enjoyment out of my mom's discomfort with technology. It took her 5 years to learn to turn the computer on; now she spends about 4 hours a day looking at jewelry and silver spoons (yes, i get the irony, thanks) on ebay.
In other news, my dad walked into my room when I was watching porn. Luckily, he came in during the excessive moaning part, so I'm pretty sure there was no question as to what I was up to. In my defense, I thought it was a clip from Survivor, but apparently that's different from Survivor Island? This Kelly Brook character is a real looker. What was I supposed to do? Just watch part 1 and ignore parts 2-4? Don't be ridiculous. And now you all shall Google Survivor Island, because I know you're curious.
Speaking of, about a week ago, I didn't really want kids. I'm not big on sharing, and I really appreciate my down time, so I think kid-chasing would probably not be high up on my list of favorite hobbies. Then my older sister visited with her 2 year old son, and I think I might get it now. He was jumping around in the pool with his hands up screaming in delight whenever my dad would splash him, and he found so much pleasure in a measuring tape and a duster. It's pure. Just pure joy. I still believe my best option would be to start a kid rental service. Like maybe I can handle it for a few weeks a few times a year. You guys know of any services like that? I'm an innovator; let's get this Netflix for kids thing going.
Time to go for a run... In the gym. It's about 150 degrees outside. Princess doesn't like to overheat.
